Prepare for spring sloth!

Ah, spring is in the air. The flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping and the grass is getting greener. Families are planning trips, friends are planning parties and all of the above means dick to a college kid with no money for travel or beer by the keg–and let’s face it, 12-packs of Pabst and Milwaukee’s Best aren’t gonna get the party train to come a-rollin’ through.

Don’t let this dystopian view of the most celebrated week on the collegiate calendar bring you down, however. If you’re a bit light on pocket money and frequent flier miles, you need look no further than the video game consoles in your dorm or the old school systems that still sit at home, waiting like a loyal puppy for you to grab it by the controller and have your way with. It’ll be a fine week of well-spent time building up levels and racking up high scores if you’re a serious gamer, and for you, spring break gaming will be like a week in Mecca.

For the gamer that is low on dough (and bros and hos), spring break is prime time for electronic entertainment. This gamer has no doubt been looking forward to a week of blissful, thumb-blistering ecstasy at their dorm or apartment, blocking out the sun with opaque drapes and hoarding enough snacks to survive the break. Most likely, this gamer already has a home console or PC to play from, though as the two groups hold some different gaming tastes, there are a few different fashions of time-passing gaming.

The PC gamer is particularly psyched, especially if they’ve already had their souls sucked out by an MMORPG long ago and their biggest frustration is pausing for sake of class. Spring break gets rid of that distraction, so the week will see plenty of college gamers leveling up their World of Warcraft characters, a game that now boasts a subscriber base of 8.5 million. If you don’t play WoW already and don’t want to purchase a copy to start with during the break–or else don’t want to feel like a newbie against the legions of players that will spend 18 hours of each day during the break kicking your ass–try downloading Anarchy Online or Shadowbane, both totally free games that offer a more amateur-friendly means to enter the world of network gaming.

Console gamers tend not to synchronize their schedules with network gaming, so the best way to pass large chunks of time is with a good adventure or role-playing game. Xbox fans can look forward to Elder Scrolls: Oblivion, a recently released RPG that takes a leaf from the Grand Theft Auto series in terms of game-play. There is a gripping main quest to follow, though the real attraction is the massive free-sprawling world that can be explored at will. Oblivion boasts a real-world area map of 16-square-miles and is jam-packed with side quests and mini-games that will keep you busy throughout the break.

PlayStation gamers have plenty of titles to stay entertained by, and at the top of the list is Final Fantasy XII. If you haven’t already finished it, spring break is an optimal time to chip away at completion. God of War 2, which hit shelves March 13, is another great way to pass the time, particularly since the battle system is so unique and tracking down those rare weapons and finding the hidden bosses will take lots of determination and energy drinks to keep you awake through dawn.

Wii gamers still have The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess on their plates, and even if you’ve finished it already, it’s enough fun to play through again while unlocking the bonuses that require a second go. Super Mario Galaxy, which has been getting pushed back for months, is rumored for a release during spring break, and it will be the first traditional Mario adventure since Mario Sunshine. Nintendo claims that it will set the standard for platform adventure games on the Wii, so if it ships, be sure to get a copy.

There are also some gamers that don’t intend to stay at home and neglect their personal hygiene as they play themselves into a stupor-they intend on raiding the pantry at home, where they can game their hearts out and do a bit of laundry that won’t require a roll of quarters. That’s going to mean some vintage gaming for those of you who have a classic system at home, such as a Dreamcast, a PlayStation 1 or perhaps a Super Nintendo or Sega Genesis. If you have one of the older systems, there is no better use of your time off than revisiting a classic RPG, such as any of the old Final Fantasies–VII for the PS1 gamers, III for the SNES gamer–or for you Sega fans, spring break would be high time to dust off your old copy of Phantasy Star, especially the online version for Dreamcast.

If you’re traveling and gaming with a Game Boy Advance, March 20 marks the release of the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game. The game won’t be as expansive as the console versions that feature an online mode, but Ubisoft’s developers have proven their ability to make a great console game just as fun on the GBA, most particularly with Prince of Persia: Sands of Time. Point of fact: Persia is another solid choice for the plane, bus or car ride to whatever vacation spot you are headed.

PlayStation Portable gamers don’t have any particular new releases to fill the time with, but it’s never too late to cruise the bargain bin for such gems as Metal Gear Ac!D, a card game version of the adventure franchise that gets frighteningly addictive in a hurry. The Sega Genesis Collection is an awesome compilation that, among many others, features all three of the Golden Axe games and a couple of the early Sonic the Hedgehog titles. This collection will bring on some great nostalgia and springtime joy to any PSP gamer.

It’s important to remember that spring break does end, however. Come April 2, classes start back up and it’s rare that a professor will allow for an absence on the first day because you were just minutes away from a save point, only to get fragged and lose all of your progress which, of course, necessitated replaying until you got back to that point, but then you found a new–it’s about here that a professor will stop listening and start thinking about making extra room for students on the waiting list. Have your fun during the break and try not to avoid the sun too much, but don’t forget that you’re still in school and it’s a complete waste of tuition to drop a course for a game that will still be there when class is over.