Review of some venue and band

The recently revamped Alberta Rose Theatre originally opened in 1927 as the Alameda Theater, a motion picture house, complete with a theater organ for silent films. It operated under various names after that and screened films until it closed in 1978. In the intervening years, various churches used the building until Joe Cawley rescued it and reopened it this past June, with the intention of bringing a wide variety of new performers to the venue.

In his grand opening interview with Oregon Music News, he said “We have everything from singer/songwriters to rock to jazz to blues…anything that’s appropriate to this setting. We’re installing a movie screen that drops down so we can have music and movie combos.” The theater’s website describes it as a “mid-size, seated listening room where the audience can enjoy excellent lines of sight, outstanding acoustics and where every seat feels close to the stage and the artist.”

Although it feels that way because every seat is literally close to the artist (the theater only packs about 300 seats), it is an overall charming venue, suited perfectly to Portland’s many plays, cabarets and acoustic musical acts. The auditorium is decorated to reflect a Spanish-Colonial courtyard, with stucco and faux candles in upper windows. The dark-wood bar features beer, wine, champagne and a bunch of non-alcoholic beverages and candy. Most notably, though, it offers Pacific Pie Company’s handmade, Australian-style pies, called that because no one can order “Australian pasties” without giggling. The pasties are little pocket pies filled with various deliciousness (think Hot Pockets without the trip to the ER for esophageal burns and bowel collapse).

The show I attended at the theatre was a performance by Portland music-scene fixture Keith Schreiner’s latest project “Oracle.” I have known Keith for years and heard nearly every note he’s put his hands on. He is a talented, hardworking and exceptional artist who happens to make utterly baffling choices at times. I tried to think of ways to couch my reaction to this project without compromising journalistic integrity but the bottom line is that, despite Keith’s impeccable synth work and absolutely beautiful composition, Orianna Herrmann’s vocals are all but completely unlistenable and her stage performance borders on otherworldly.

For three entire songs I thought Ms. Herrmann was SNL’s Kristen Wiig (not a joke) and then I assumed I was being put on by an artist of Andy Kaufman-level genius. I am still not entirely sure I’m not. I want to believe only a genius could craft something so expertly ridiculous. From her off-kilter wailing and blisteringly banal lyrics, to her suddenly nasal and raspy “character” voice, to her long, flowy, black hippie-dress (barefoot and all), to the theatrical gesticulations and Kabuki-esque facial contortions; I was literally leaning forward on the edge of my seat in anticipation of the next bit of delicious burlesque. If this woman has pulled one over on me and it’s actually a farce, my hat is permanently off to her. She has gone above and beyond everything one would expect from a master satirist of the histrionic-Kate-Bush-clone genre. If she’s serious, she has a long road ahead of her and a lot of hard work to do. She has a lot of energy, extraordinary facial motility and clearly owns a solid pair of lungs, but these things are only assets to performing Sondheim’s Broadway musicals unless you have enough substance to warrant writing your own original songs.

Apologies to any Oracle fans who didn’t realize it sucked (also guys, the tooth fairy is your parents and Wicca doesn’t really give you magical powers). Schreiner is still one of the best electronic artists in the business, so check him out solo as Auditory Sculpture or with acclaimed MC Mic Crenshaw as the devastatingly badass Suckapunch. Maybe they’ll play the newly renovated and very lovely Alberta Rose Theatre! I feel like I read somewhere that it’s a great venue. ?