Spring term is upon us my friends, and you know what that means. The weather is better, the street preachers are back creating noise pollution and Miss Rose makes some predictions and some educated guesses.
The first thing I noticed when I came back from spring break was some chalk on the sidewalk that said “WAZHU.” I was like, we’re not a PAC-10 school. Why are people writing the nickname of Washington State University on the sidewalk? Better yet, why is it misspelled?
I got my answer while visiting my office, also known as the ladies restroom. WAZHU is the “catchy” phrase that a couple of ASPSU hopefuls are using. So that means elections and the accompanying circus are upon us and it seems that some people have gotten an early start.
Let me be brutally honest. I don’t care about student politics. Do I ever write columns about it? No. Nothing makes me more tired than looking at brightly colored, nonrecyclable posters for people I don’t know or care about. I respect the courage it takes to run for office, but that doesn’t mean I am going to care any more than I did before.
The only important office to me is the person who is in charge of handing out the money for student organizations. I pay close attention to that one, because I pay a lot of my own money and I want to make sure it is being doled out in an appropriate manner. I think this office is more important than president or vice-president .
The other thing I predict is that the street preachers will come to campus, they will be really loud and some dumb students will egg them on. I can’t say this enough: If you ignore them, they will go away, even if you are offended by what they say. You will not change them, just like they are not able to change you. Pretend they don’t exist. I like my lunches quiet and I hold the hecklers just as responsible as the street preachers when it is noisy.
The other thing I predict is that we seniors will be showered with obnoxious offers from Jostens to buy stupid graduation crap we don’t need. I can get a cap and gown at the bookstore, and I don’t have to pay shipping and handling. If I want it to be tailored, I’ll go see Mr. Lee, who fixes my pants, not some person from Jostens who will yell out my measurements to the general public. All I need is the cap, the gown, my tassel and my ever-loving diploma. Bring it on.
I also predict that I am not the only senior with senioritis. So, if professors and classmates notice the rise in drunk people in class, you know it’s just because we’re trying to forget that we have to be grownups in three months. Then we face the pain of paying our loans back six months after that. Someone get me a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, stat.
Speaking of riots, May Day is just a month away. Will it be the gentle rally of last year? Or will it be the horse kicking, tear gas breathing melee of two years ago? All I know is that the hippies and leftists will march, because they have something to say. And, my friend Mikey the cop will have to do bike patrol that day and he’ll be really mad because he’s so republican it’s not even funny. I don’t even know why he left Klamath Falls. There aren’t even democrats there. They have to ship them in from Ashland to protest Gail Norton’s visits.
On a national level, I predict that George Bush will do something totally stupid.
So, I do not know if any of these predictions will come true (except the George Bush thing), but most of them have a high probability of occurring. But, hey, I could be wrong, I did get a C in statistics. Anyway, send me some of your predictions (except the ones where you threaten to kick my ass, I’ve kind of had enough of those), and let me know what you think spring term at PSU has in store for us.