Sean Howard Boggs

I am here to talk about something that is absolutely disgusting and gross, something other than my girlfriend’s cooking. People need to remember what their mothers told them. Even if they are old enough to have families of their own, they still need to remember what their mothers told them.

I’ll get right to the point. Cover your damn mouths when you cough and wash your damn hands after you use the bathroom!

It’s not difficult; it’s easy. It’s actually easier than going to the bathroom.

Why doesn’t anybody follow these simple precautions for disease prevention? I understand not following them when you’re six and it’s fun to eat jellybeans off of the floor and then cough on your sister just because she pulled the head off of your GI Joe. It is entirely understandable in that aspect, but if you’re in high school, college or simply above the age of 12, you should be able to wash your hands and cover your mouth.

The ’10-second-rule’ does not apply to pissing on your own hands.

So, why do people not wash their hands anyway? Is it fun? Is it cool? It is really sick. I’m not a clean person; just look at me in the halls. But I do respect other people in the fact that they don’t want to touch what I just touched while in the bathroom. Get it? If I don’t wash my hands, then I grab the door, guess what? The next person who grabs that door gets the privilege of becoming a good friend of mine (if you know what I mean).

So wash your damn hands. If you refuse to because you are that full of rebellion, then just pee on your hands. Forget the stalls or urinals, just stand near the sink and let it go. Would you want to wash your hands after that? I’d hope so. If not, please never pick up a Vanguard again unless your hands are properly covered with rubber gloves that are covered in Vaseline and are on fire.

Quick side note: putting your hands in warm water without soap after you urinate doesn’t work. Now you not only have germs on your hands, but you have germs that are wet and warm.

And now to the people who think it’s fine to cough in random places without covering their mouths.

Do you know how you got sick in the first place? Most likely from somebody who didn’t cover their mouth when they coughed! So, now you are feeling sick and are aching all over. What better than to just cough away? Just go ahead, cough on the back of my neck while I sit in front of you. I obviously don’t care that I will catch what you so unfairly just gave me. Do you realize that when you cough, the disease and phlegm that you just shoved out of your mouth and nose travel fast and travel far? It doesn’t go in a straight line. If this were a geometry class you would all fail.

So, remember what your mother taught you: cover your damn mouth and wash your damn hands.