Leo (July 24–Aug. 22) This is a very special time of year for you, I think (I’m not an astrologist). I don’t really know what I’m talking about, Leo, but…
Horoscopes for the week of 7/19-7/25
Cancer (June 21–July 22) You are hopeless Cancer…hopelessly devoted to your boo thang, Sandra Dee. Your goal for this week is to pull the opposite of an Olivia Newton and…
Horoscopes for the week of 7/12
Cancer (June 22–July 22) Clear the clutter out of your life, Cancer. You have a heart of gold. You want to help out your family, friends and community. But first:…
Totally legit horoscopes for the week of May 23-29
Aries (March 21–April 19) The spring rain might be dampening your mood, but hang in there, focus and own those finals. When the sun’s finally back, leave that cave behind…
Horoscopes for summer break
From Mystic J; Permanent resident of Room 1313, Hollywood Tower Hotel. Aries (March 21–April 19) Spend your summer trying to better yourself. Be constructive and pick a new skill to…
Horoscopes for the week of 5/8
From Mystic J; Permanent resident of Room 1313, Hollywood Tower Hotel. Aries (March 21–April 19) You cannot avoid modernity. Though you look to the past for answers and the future…
Horoscopes for the week of 5/1
From Mystic J; Permanent resident of Room 1313, Hollywood Tower Hotel. Aries (March 21-April 19) People might tell you that history is against you and that you can’t accomplish your…
Horoscopes for the week of 5/15
From Mystic J; Permanent resident of Room 1313, Hollywood Tower Hotel. Aries (March 21-April 19) Nothing can be held on to forever. Whether it be good looks, fame or talent,…
Horoscopes for the week of 4/24
From Mystic J; Permanent resident of Room 1313, Hollywood Tower Hotel. Aries (March 21–April 19) You are not nearly as invincible as you think. Though you feel stronger than all…
Horoscopes for the week of 4/17
From Mystic J; Permanent resident of Room 1313, Hollywood Tower Hotel. Aries (March 21-April 19) Most hummingbirds migrate during colder months, but some stay behind and somehow manage to survive…
Horoscopes for the week of 4/10
Horoscopes from Mystic J; Permanent resident of Room 1313, Hollywood Tower Hotel. Aries (March 21–April 19) You have a gift for sensing possibilities. Never forget to trust your gut, even…