Some people have hobbies, some people don’t. These people do – sort of.
Anonymous 1
– all you have to do is tell me about your hobbies.
Give me a ballpark time estimate.
Like ten – two minutes. TWO MINUTES!
Okay, alright, nicely done.
Do you have a hobby?
Mmm-hmm.
What would that be?
Computer programming.
Okay, why is that a hobby?
I do it non-professionally, not-for-profit and for my own entertainment and the entertainment of my friends.
Could you program a computer to kill somebody?
Uh – given enough time and sufficient budget, yes.
Could you make your own robot?
No, not yet. I’d need a team of uh – graduate students.
Do you think in the future people will make their own robots, like their own cyborgs or uh – as a hobby?
Y-y-yer – yer talkin’ crazy – people make their own robots, now, for fun.
Do they do stuff?
Yeah, they do, actually.
Do they make pleasure models?
Uh – they’re gettin’ there. Even right here in Portland, there’s a group of enthusiasts that get together and build robots that do various tasks – from uh – kind of like a sumo wrestling thing where they push each other out of rings, others which can navigate a maze, all the way up to solving Rubik’s Cubes.
Of course.
You put it in and run a little program and it –
(I make robot sound) BEEP BUP BE BO BOOP
Exactly.
Could you do “BEEP BUP BE BO BOOP"?
WEE WUHP WUHPOOP
Anonymous 2
Hobbies? Do you like hobbies? Do you have any hobbies?
(pause)
Do you know what a hobby is?
Yeah, I know what a hobby is.
Do you have any?
(shakes no)
Why not?
I don’t know.
What’s some stuff you like to do?
Go to bars, go to concerts, stuff like that.
Going to concerts is a hobby. What kind of concerts do you go to?
All kinds of different stuff.
Is that a band name?
No.
Well, then what’s all kinds of different stuff?
Rock, hip-hop, techno, whatever.
Right. What are the performances like at a techno concert?
That would be a “rave" with a DJ.
Do you do lots of drugs at those raves? Do like ecstasy?
Not lately.
But in the past maybe?
Yeah, almost everybody does.
Would you say that’s a hobby?
No, that’s just an adjunct to the main thing that’s going on. Why am I still holding this umbrella under the cover-thing?
Is holding an umbrella under cover a hobby of yours?
No, that was just an accident. I kind of forgot I was out of the rain after being in the middle of it.
Do you think that would make a good hobby?
No.
What would be the weirdest hobby you can think of?
I don’t know, that could go in so many different directions. What’s the weirdest hobby you can think of?
I could think of one right now and that would be collecting wet newspapers. Why would anybody do that?
(pause)
You have to say ‘no’ ’cause I have to transcribe this, I can’t transcribe what you just did with your head.
That was the universal “I don’t know" shrug.
Anonymous 3
Do you have any hobbies?
I like to garden and –
(I mimic her gestures)
Yes, large hand gestures and –
I like large hand gestures.
I like watching people make fools of themselves, generally.
What’s the difference between something you like to do and something that’s a hobby?
Ya know, there could be a sophisticated clarification on this matter, but I feel like they could be the same – oh, everything’s a question.
It is a question, but I can’t think of the next one.