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Techno concert killer robot

 

Some people have hobbies, some people don’t. These people do – sort of.

 

Anonymous 1

 

– all you have to do is tell me about your hobbies.

 

Give me a ballpark time estimate.

 

Like ten – two minutes. TWO MINUTES!

 

Okay, alright, nicely done.

 

Do you have a hobby?

 

Mmm-hmm.

 

What would that be?

 

Computer programming.

 

Okay, why is that a hobby?

 

I do it non-professionally, not-for-profit and for my own entertainment and the entertainment of my friends.

 

Could you program a computer to kill somebody?

 

Uh – given enough time and sufficient budget, yes.

 

Could you make your own robot?

 

No, not yet. I’d need a team of uh – graduate students.

 

Do you think in the future people will make their own robots, like their own cyborgs or uh – as a hobby?

 

Y-y-yer – yer talkin’ crazy – people make their own robots, now, for fun.

 

Do they do stuff?

 

Yeah, they do, actually.

 

Do they make pleasure models?

 

Uh – they’re gettin’ there. Even right here in Portland, there’s a group of enthusiasts that get together and build robots that do various tasks – from uh – kind of like a sumo wrestling thing where they push each other out of rings, others which can navigate a maze, all the way up to solving Rubik’s Cubes.

 

Of course.

 

You put it in and run a little program and it –

 

(I make robot sound) BEEP BUP BE BO BOOP

 

Exactly.

 

Could you do “BEEP BUP BE BO BOOP"?

 

WEE WUHP WUHPOOP

 

Anonymous 2

 

Hobbies? Do you like hobbies? Do you have any hobbies?

 

(pause)

 

Do you know what a hobby is?

 

Yeah, I know what a hobby is.

 

Do you have any?

 

(shakes no)

 

Why not?

 

I don’t know.

 

What’s some stuff you like to do?

 

Go to bars, go to concerts, stuff like that.

 

Going to concerts is a hobby. What kind of concerts do you go to?

 

All kinds of different stuff.

 

Is that a band name?

 

No.

 

Well, then what’s all kinds of different stuff?

 

Rock, hip-hop, techno, whatever.

 

Right. What are the performances like at a techno concert?

 

That would be a “rave" with a DJ.

 

Do you do lots of drugs at those raves? Do like ecstasy?

 

Not lately.

 

But in the past maybe?

 

Yeah, almost everybody does.

 

Would you say that’s a hobby?

 

No, that’s just an adjunct to the main thing that’s going on. Why am I still holding this umbrella under the cover-thing?

 

Is holding an umbrella under cover a hobby of yours?

 

No, that was just an accident. I kind of forgot I was out of the rain after being in the middle of it.

 

Do you think that would make a good hobby?

 

No.

What would be the weirdest hobby you can think of?

 

I don’t know, that could go in so many different directions. What’s the weirdest hobby you can think of?

 

I could think of one right now and that would be collecting wet newspapers. Why would anybody do that?

 

(pause)

 

You have to say ‘no’ ’cause I have to transcribe this, I can’t transcribe what you just did with your head.

 

That was the universal “I don’t know" shrug.

 

Anonymous 3

 

Do you have any hobbies?

 

I like to garden and –

 

(I mimic her gestures)

 

Yes, large hand gestures and –

 

I like large hand gestures.

 

I like watching people make fools of themselves, generally.

 

What’s the difference between something you like to do and something that’s a hobby?

 

Ya know, there could be a sophisticated clarification on this matter, but I feel like they could be the same – oh, everything’s a question.

 

It is a question, but I can’t think of the next one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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