Wanting to Resist writes:
For those of us opposed to a Trump presidency, and for those of us who fear important Supreme Court cases will be overturned and that the worst elements of our American nature will be stirred up to the point of action, what do you recommend we do? How do we handle our neighbors and loved ones believing in Trump? How do we even sit at the same table with them ever again? How do we resist? How do we take back the power and progress he’s sure to halt? And please don’t tell me to give him a chance.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you that you have to automatically give Drumpf a chance because he “won.” He may have “won” electoral votes but he’ll always have lost the popular vote by over a million. Granted, those million votes are all from western states, but I digress as well as hope that it eats him up from the inside out like a can of Coke eating rust off a bumper.
You know, I want to acknowledge that the work is never easy. And I want to acknowledge that this time it does seem harder than in times past. A loss of civility, real discourse, and the obvious disenfranchisement of both Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders by main stream and even some supporters has made this election feel harder and meaner and more dangerous than any before.
So what do you do when the man who had the worst vitriol will have the power to nuke any of his Twitter-based enemies? What do you do when you feel helpless? How do you fight back?
The soft answer is I don’t know. I have lead feet and it’s much easier to be a Facebook activist. I have lucid, waking dreams about internment camps and House Un-American Activities Committee blacklists, and I can’t shake the feeling that Trump and Pence are both going to go after “liberal elitist” higher education. I have both rational and irrational fears that are often punctuated by people telling me I should give Trump a chance. After all, politicians lie to get votes. How is he any different?
He’s not that different. And he should be held to the same standard as others because he asked for this. And honestly, holding him and his group of slippery-eeled bigots accountable will be an uphill battle of Sisyphean proportions. Beyond that is anyone’s guess.
I wish I could say donate your time and talents at a local food bank or any spare change to things like Planned Parenthood and your local LGBTQ youth shelter. Work on your local community. Advocate and protect those who are just as marginalized and more marginalized than you, but then again I was told I shouldn’t wear a safety pin because I know nothing about being a safe space for another, so perhaps I’m the wrong person to ask.
I think your questions are very valid and there isn’t an answer other than don’t back down. Don’t make Drumpf’s never-ending nightmare the new normal. Approach life with dignity and class to the best of your ability. There’s a long road ahead and a lot of repairs we all have to do if we’re going to keep this world afloat over the next four years. And it won’t be easy. There may be more than a few that won’t survive policies and conversion therapies and internment camps and HUAC, but somehow when we went through this before, we did survive. And hopefully we can again.
Though I will say if surviving is our bare minimum, we’ve definitely done something wrong.
Hearts and Stars,
Trip Advice writes:
I’m going on a trip pretty soon with a friend but it’s slowly beginning to dawn on me that we don’t share much in common trip-wise. They don’t know how to pack, they don’t really know how to plan what they want to see or how easy they want to take it or even what restaurants they want to go to. Is the trip ruined before it even begins?
Heya, Trip Advice.
The long and short of it is that nothing is ruined unless you want it to be. You sound kind of like me. A planner. God, I love to plan trips. It’s almost like taking the trip before you’ve even left for the airport, and when people don’t plan, I cringe. Can you imagine just stumbling about a foreign country or state or even Disneyworld without a plan?
Well, you should. It’s a healthy mental exercise.
What I’m really hearing is that you intend to spend all your time with your friend. Is that a vacation or a bonding experience? Or a honeymoon? I mean, come on, why on earth would you want to plan to spend all your time together?
At the end of the day, this vacation is a break from your normal life. If you schedule an itinerary to the last minute, you miss something. If you schedule nothing at all, you won’t see anything.
What about this? Go out to coffee, just the two of you. Plan a day together and then the next day apart. Alternate that way and if the other party isn’t interested, plan for yourself and let them take care of themselves like the adult they are. You might just end up saving the vacation and the friendship.
Hearts and Stars,
Your Advice Guru