TV in Print

Olympics, Olympics, Olympics! NBC’s coverage of the Winter Olympics has pretty much turned this week into a summer extravaganza of reruns, reality shows and old movies. Though I’m not sure what the other

networks are afraid of, since the Olympics have gotten pretty weak ratings so far and it’s common knowledge that people prefer the Summer Olympics to its winter counterpart.

 

“XX Olympic Winter Games“- Since this is such a massive event, I’m going to break my coverage down into separate categories of events:

Snowboard motocross – It’s fast! It’s dangerous! It’s actually kind of boring! Note to Bob Costas: Stop saying this sport is "heart-pounding." Maybe it is for the athletes, but not the viewers at home on their couch eating chips and demanding the snowboarders go faster, damnit!

Women’s snowboarding – Wow. Forget "South Beach," this is where the hotties are. But it stands to reason since they’re all rich suburban girls whose parents can afford to pay for them to hit the mountain every weekend.

Freestyle figure skating – What epitomizes this event is the dude wearing a pirate outfit dancing to the soundtrack to “Pirates of the Caribbean.” And man was he serious about being a skating pirate –

 

“Frontline: The Meth Epidemic“

Portland’s on TV! Maybe this scary “Frontline” special about the meth epidemic will keep enterprising yuppies from moving to our fair city, but probably not. It’s not like meth addicts are running around the Pearl District.

 

“Survivor: Exile Island“

I watched the show and I still don’t understand how it works. Does the contestant who gets eliminated go to Exile Island or does someone from Exile Island join when someone gets eliminated? Survivor Misty, easily the hottest survivor, got voted off this week. That’s just bad business, people.

 

“How I Met Your Mother“

According to the mini-game I played on this show’s web site, Robin is my “perfect match.” Sure, she’s attractive and all, but I think my perfect match is whichever CBS exec cans this show. We’re going to be so happy together.

 

“The O.C.”

So surfer Johnny died. But all the characters can seem to think about are their Valentine’s Day plans, even at his funeral. Wow. This show has gone from lame to downright disgusting.