Who says there ain’t no such thing as a free film?

It’s true: in an effort to get cheap lil’ asses in seats, allmovies at the Fifth Avenue Cinema are now fantastically,fabulously, ferociously friggin’ free to all PSU students. Doesthere exist another place where your patronage is so desirable?(Hint: Blockbuster employees greet you at the door only becausethey have to – they’re really laughing and pointing as you lurchinto the night with that copy of “Powder” under your arm).

The Fifth Avenue is delving deep into the mainstream this fall,offering the best Hollywood has to offer. Perplexed by dynamiccharacters? Confused by long chunks of dialog? Don’t worry, so amI. The theater’s screening of “I, Robot” is the place to be.

Oh, and remember to potty before Lord of the Rings. It’s a longone.

Fall Schedule

Oct 1-3 “Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring”
Fri & Sat at 5 and 9 p.m., Sun 4 p.m.
Peter Jackson’s hobbit-humping masterpiece.

Oct 8-9 “Lord of the Rings: Two Towers”
5 & 9 p.m.
Frodo is back and he is lovin’ it!

Oct 15-17 “Lord of the Rings: Return of the King,” 35mm
Fri & Sat at 5 and 9 p.m., Sun 4 p.m.
Just when you feel like all hope is lost, fights breakout.

Oct 22-23 “Wag the Dog”
7 & 9:30 p.m.
A desperate government stands behind a fake war to stay inoffice. Sound familiar?

Oct 29-30 “Bulworth”
7 & 9:30 p.m.
Warren Beatty plays an establishment senator who, in the midstof a mental breakdown, suddenly decides to start telling thetruth.

Nov 5-6 “I, Robot”
7 & 9:30 p.m.
Will Smith gets jiggy, again.

Nov 12-13 “Garden State”
7 & 9:30 p.m.
An existential romp through Paxil, love and New Jersey,featuring that goddamn Shins song.

Nov 19-20 “In America”
7 & 9:30 p.m.
A heartbreaking and beautiful modern immigrant’s story.

Nov 26-27 (Thanksgiving) “Bringing Up Baby”
7 & 9:30 p.m.
What better way to spend Thanksgiving than with Cary Grant,Katherine Hepburn and a pet leopard?

Dec 3-4 (Beginning of Finals) “The Ballad of GregorioCortez”
7 & 9:30 p.m.
Edward James Olmos stars in this 1983 film about Texas, a stolenhorse and a man who made a difference. God, that poorhorse.