Wiseau expands from Room to House and can’t afford the laughs

Tommy Wiseau is one of the few American men I have met with a French-German-head trauma accent. With his sunken jet-black hair and uncanny method of wooing women, Wiseau has successfully risen as a cult classic hero for his masterpiece “The Room” (2003, directed by, written by, produced by and starring Tommy Wiseau).

Although produced in 2003, Wiseau has just recently become a media sensation, perhaps with the help of his debut on “Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!” as season four’s pig-man hybrid looking for love, intriguing some viewers to see what kind of feature film he could muster up.

“The Room” is a story about a man who works a bank job to support his wife, a non-existent fetus, and the 30-year-old man-child neighbor, Denny. The film starts out as a softcore porn but quickly spins into a drama which deals with several delicate issues such as betrayal, sex, drugs and breast cancer.

Three types of people leave the theater after watching “The Room”: those who wonder how a sedated, socially incompetent, Neanderthal-esque man could budget a $6 million film, those who believe a genius with a marketable ploy is among us, and those for whom it just doesn’t matter. Whatever your perception of Wiseau, “The Room” indisputably wins the unofficial award for the best worst film of our generation.

When Wiseau paid a personal visit to Portland fans at Cinema 21, the Q-and-A resulted in no mention of any further projects. As it appeared, we were blessed with “The Room,” and what more could one really ask for?

This 14th of October, Wiseau was featured on Comedy Central in a short written by Studio8 entitled “The House that Drips Blood on Alex.” I was about to just shut it off until I noticed that it was a bearable 12 minutes long. The film, which is neither mock-artsy nor scary, and certainly anything but tastefully humorous, could have been 12 minutes better spent doing anything else.

Wiseau plays a slightly deranged Alex, whose best friend is somehow supportive and completely rational. Essentially, the title gives away the plot that ends in an un-foreshadowed twist featuring Wiseau in an emotional and self-centered display (what do you expect?). The friend is used as a foil to unnecessarily emphasize Alex’s lack of intellect, which climaxes when he refers to himself as “a little girl.” The clichéd excessive evil laughter in the beginning adds little.

Tommy sold his soul on this one. We are left with two conclusions after seeing this: Wiseau has sold his genius to the media monkeys who are fruitlessly striving to make anything nearly as hilarious and subtle but horrific as “The Room,” or Studio8 has just taken advantage of a poor man with no understanding of social cues.

Though it clearly attempts to replicate the persona of “The Room’s” main character Johnny, Alex’s overly crafted lines destroy any sense of sincerity and fresh improvisational quality that “The Room” had. “The House That Drips Blood on Alex” is a worse move for Comedy Central than replaying “Malibu’s Most Wanted” every other day.

I would highly suggest that “Room” fans see the film, as it resonates some important questions about the metamorphosis that occurs when fame sets in. For those who have never seen “The Room,” don’t waste your time. ?