22 Things You Probably Won’t Go To

Thursday, 22

“The Merchant of Venice”

Newmark Theatre, 1111 S.W. Broadway 274-6588

Through Feb. 1


Director Robert Alfoldi puts his own spin on Shakespeare’s classic, with plenty of sex and violence to keep the audience happy. The advertisements even.have cheesy romance-novel-style pictures boldly displayed on the front. Even if you made fun of The Bard in high school when you were forced to read Romeo and Juliet, you can’t deny that he delivers the gratuity and sleaze that you love.

Ted Leo & the Pharmacists, Fiery Furnaces, Desert City Soundtrack


Doors at 8 p.m.

$10 All Ages

Go see some local and original indie rockers on a school night … because it feels so good to be bad.

Friday, 23

“The Revolution Will Not Be Televised”

Cinema 21, 616 N.W. 21st Ave

Through Jan. 29, 7 p.m. weekdays, 1:15 p.m. and 3 p.m. Sat-Sun

Prices Vary (Bring Student ID)

A documentary on Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez: Things get spicy when an attempted coup traps them inside the Presidential Palace, and the confusion, bloodshed and chaos is captured by the stranded filmmakers.

The Carolines, Illaj, Lips Like Lillies

The Meow Meow


Doors at 8 p.m.

Cover, All Ages

Portland popsters The Carolines play a ’60s-themed show at the new Meow Meow. Dig out that Andy Warhol wig and head on over, but take your fur-collared leather jacket ’cause that place is hella cold.



Doors at 9 p.m.

$16 All Ages

I don’t know how to describe this band, since I’ve never heard them. I know that they’re activists, though. If you like them, you probably already know what they sound like, and can be excited about their show. Have fun!

The Decemberists, Corinna Repp


Doors at 8 p.m.

$8, All Ages

The Decemberists’ dense, folky pop, featuring a Brian Wilson-esque arrangement of instruments, is definitely worth checking out. More dusky pop accompanies in the form of Corrinna Repp, making this show the best bet for the under-21 crowd this Friday.

New Bomb Turks One-time Reunion, Fitz of Depression, The Wednesdays


Doors at 9p.m.

Cover, 21+

The New Bomb Turks reunite to rock you out of your Chucks, along with raucous punkers Fitz of Depression. This will likely be a night of hard and heavy, three-chord rock that will leave you satisfied like only this brand of alcohol-fueled distortion can. There’s no excuse not to go.

The Shane McGowan Story: If I Should Fall From Grace

Guild Theater

Jan 23, Opens at 9 p.m.

$6 student, $7 general

Pogues frontman Shane McGowan, his girlfriend and Nick Cave all lend their interviewing time to this documentary, which follows the tumultuous story of its title character from his time with the Pogues to the present. Too bad it starts at the same time as the New Bomb Turks show.

The Neins, Blank Its, The Minds

Twilight Caf퀌�


Cover, 21+

Raunchy rock and roll abounds at the Twilight Caf퀌�, with three local groups turning it up to eleven to the delight of attendees.

Saturday, 24

“Mr. Rogers Hands On Exhibit”

Children’s Museum 2nd Generation 4015 S.W. Canyon Rd


What better way to spend a Saturday than inside a life-size replica of Mr. Rogers’ psychedelic neighborhood? You even get to wear his sweaters … yikes.

Devil’s Own, I Can Lick Any Son of a Bitch in the House, Runaway Boys, Blue Turns White


Doors at 8p.m.

$5, All Ages

Local legends I Can Lick Any Son Of A Bitch In The House play at the groovy Nocturnal club, and for a meager sum you can bask in their honky country-rock glory. The best entertainment of the night for those not of age.

The Dirtbombs, The Sights, Fireballs of Freedom


Doors at 9 p.m.

Cover, 21+

More booze-powered three chord loud-ass rock at Dante’s. What did you expect?

Jerry Seinfeld

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

7 p.m.


I saw Jerry Seinfeld for my birthday once. He was funny until he started making fun of stoners. Not very nice. Such easy, slow moving targets. And for $85 I want the performer to cater to my wants and needs. So I have only one question for you, Mr. Seinfeld: Where’s the love?

Sunday, 25

Note Notas, Southern Culture on the Skids, Black Peppercorns, Rubberneck

Crystal Ballroom

12 a.m.-12 p.m.


The venerable Crystal celebrates its 90th year of dancing on air (and around the OLCC) with an all-day blowout featuring Portland ’90s rock legend Sean Croghan’s band, Note Notas. Lamely, they’re playing only in the 21+ Lola’s Room, so the youth of America will be downstairs seeing Southern Culture on the Skids and that band of little girls, the Black Peppercorns. Word around the campfire is that they’re good. Anyways, you might want to head over to buy your tickets for the Melvins and Mudhoney (aka Jesus and God) show in March…that show is gonna be CROW-DED.

Josh Groban

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

Doors at 7:30 p.m.

$52-78, All Ages

Evil media conglomerate Clear Channel has graciously brought the latest major label created singer-songwriter to our backwater village of thatched roof cottages, and for a price comparable to what you would spend on cocaine or amphetamines to make the tedious concert bearable.

Another Battle of the Bands

The Meow Meow

Doors at 6 p.m.

$8 All Ages

See some locals compete to try and be the most rockin’. Who will win? There’s only one way to find out …

Monday, 26

Living Legends, featuring Mystick Journeymen, Grouch, Eligh, Murs, Scarab, Aesop, Bicasso, Luckyiam, PSC, Sunspot Jonz, and Special Guests The Percussions and LA Symphony

Roseland Theater

Doors at 9 p.m.

$16 All Ages

If these dudes are legends, how come I’ve never heard of any of them? Maybe I’m just not cool enough.

The Ursula Le Guin-Alice Walker Progressive Winter Film Fest

PSU, SMC 225

6 p.m.


Check out some progressive films of all types, conveniently located on campus and priced for any budget. Selections range from religion to globalization and hit all the good places in between.

Tuesday, 27

IT (Independent Tuesday) local handmade film and video


8 p.m.

FREE, 21+

A showcase of local films, with the theme being ‘Mockumercials.’ Sounds like hilarity might ensue, and maybe some opening of the mind as well. Or, depending on your outlook, another excuse to drink.

Wednesday, 28

Hank Williams III and Special Guests

Ash Street Saloon

Cover, 21+

The latest of the Williams dynasty makes an appearance, and he brought guests with him too. Special ones.

The Handsome Family, Buttless Chaps


Doors at 9 p.m.

$10 Advance, $12 Door, 21+

I would go to see this show just to see what kind of music a band called the Buttless Chaps would play. And to see if the Handsome Family really is Handsome.

Tango Lessons and Dancing


7:30 p.m.

$5 All Ages

Shake that ass and hope the only person watching is yourself. But they say it takes two to tango, so I guess there’s no way around a little embarrassment. Arrive drunk for maximum enjoyment.