800 pound guerrilla

The Residence Life program escaped a proposed $300,000 in cuts, which would have reduced the program to below its first-year budget, when the administration announced they had scrounged up funds from a variety of sources. The announcement follows student outcry over the initial budget, including a late-night raid on the Auxiliary Services office last Thursday, where students peppered the office with pink slips decrying the cuts and an unflattering mural of top administration officials.

What this means for you: Hey PSU, thanks for listening to students; that was a mighty nice thing to do. Hey housing residents, better roll those kegs back to the car, looks the RA’s are sticking around for a while.


According to a U.S. Department of Education study released April 12, Oregon ranked second highest in the nation in students denied financial aid because of drug convictions between 2000 and 2005. Good news, stoners! The law has been modified so that now people will only lose aid if convicted of buying or selling while in college.

What this means for you: Too bad we didn’t publish this before 4/20. Good luck with that FAFSA next year.


Happy belated Earth Day! On that note, oil prices skyrocketed to a record high of more than $70 a barrel this week, pushing unleaded gas prices up to an average $2.78 a gallon. Blaming the rise on international uneasiness over Iran and Nigeria, experts expect prices at the pump to top out at over $3 a gallon nationwide. Yet, paradoxically, demand for fuel is also on the rise.

What this means for you: Time to take your bike off the rack on top of your SUV and actually ride it. No, really.


Under pressure from Republicans, who are seriously freaked about their odds of re-election this November, the Bush administration continued its “shake up” of top staff posts this week. Beleaguered White House press secretary Scott McClellan “resigned,” Rasputin, er, um, we mean Karl Rove took a demotion and a number of other top officials are rumored to be on the chopping block. Meanwhile, G-Dub continued to defend Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, saying, “I hear the voices. And I read the front page. And I know the speculation. But I’m the decider. And I decide what is best.”

What this means for you: So the president is finally “hearing the voices.” Great. Too bad he seems to think all those voices are five-year-olds.