I Love PSU

On June 14, 2008, myself and nearly 2,000 others will sweat under the hot lights of the Rose Garden in goofy-looking black gowns, and then make the walk across the stage to symbolically celebrate our accomplishments with Portland State and the degree it will bestow upon us. Another 2,700 students won’t be walking that day but will also be graduating, hopefully celebrating their accomplishments via other methods. Like keg stands. So we’re done here at this establishment, this school, this university–one that gets a bad rap at times, and sometimes straight from students.

Drop acid, make movie

HEY, I have a great idea for a movie. Get this: Adam Sandler stars as a superhuman Israeli counter-terrorist. We’ll give him a sweet name, something like “Zohan.” And when I say superhuman, I mean it, like he can catch bullets with his hands. But get this! He really wants to be, wait for it … a hairdresser! It’s his dream! So he fakes his death and pretends that his Palestinian arch-nemesis kills him, who’s played by … uh … John Turturro! Yeah! Then he goes to America, bones every old woman in New York City, and actually does become a famous hairdresser, all while narrowly avoiding death at the hands of Rob Schneider and gentrification at the hands of Dave Matthews. No, Dave Matthews doesn’t play himself–he’s going to act. Again! Goddamn, this is awesome.

Staying alert

More than a year has passed since the tragic April 16, 2007 massacre at Virginia Tech, and the topic of campus safety is still a hot one, with the question of how to best prepare ourselves for dangerous emergencies still devoid of any answer that’s reached nationwide consensus. The most evident byproduct of this discussion here at PSU is the implementation of our new emergency notification system known as PSU Alert, a system that notifies those who opt in via text message, phone or e-mail about any campus-wide emergency.

Visual appeal

Today, Fifth Avenue Cinema is Oregon’s only operating college cinema, and it’s entirely student-run. Providing films of all varieties, the theater has been a part of the PSU film community for decades and is looking to expand that role with its growing Visuals Film Festival. The Visuals Film Festival, beginning its fifth run tonight, is fitting for its venue because of the many student films it features.

A Better G.I. Bill

On Nov. 9 of last year, U.S. Senators and Vietnam veterans Jim Webb (D-Va.) and Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.) published an op-ed piece in The New York Times calling for a newly expanded version of the G.I. Bill, the landmark piece of World War II-era legislation that completely paid a veteran’s way through school. It also provided a year’s worth of employment compensation and low-interest, zero-down home loans that allowed millions of families to flourish in the American postwar boom.

Indy rocks!

Years ago, Harrison Ford said that he would never play the character of Han Solo again were it offered to him, but he would consider reprising the role of Indiana Jones. If Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is any indication, he made the right choice. The Lucas/Spielberg/Ford team has finally brought us that elusive entity: a rockin’ sequel for a series, long on hiatus.

New-wave volunteerism

ore often, people are choosing to volunteer their time in an a la carte sort of way. Instead of joining civic organizations such as an Elks or Rotary Club, altruistic individuals are spending their time day to day, here and there, dropping in on projects and causes when they can make it work.

Narnia gets angsty

Despite religious controversy, British comedians and rampant swashbuckling, the first response produced by viewing The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian is a resounding…”meh.”

Novick for Senate

The three frontrunners for the Democratic U.S. Senate nomination came to campus last Wednesday for one of their last debates in a primary race that has almost been as hotly contested as its presidential counterpart. Those frontrunners, looking to take down incumbent Gordon Smith (R-Ore.) in the general election, would be Jeff Merkley, Candy Neville and Steve Novick. They were also joined by Independent candidate John Frohnmayer.

Eat brains, suck blood

Do you have a deep love for both zombies and vampires? Do you long for the rise of the undead? Do you insides churn when you see 15-year-olds on Facebook debating pirates versus ninjas?

Stoner bros unite

Harold Lee and Kumar Patel. Two guys you probably thought you’d never be seeing again. But you were wrong. And while the scenery has changed (the pair are now on the run from the Department of Homeland Security instead of trying to find their way to White Castle), this stoner duo has not.