Haiku horoscopes

Haiku is an ancient form of Japanese poetry. Traditional haiku are five syllables in the first line, seven in the second and five in the last. Ms. Luna prefers to make her divinations through haiku and means no disrespect to the art of haiku. She would also like you to know that these horoscopes are for entertainment purposes only.

AriesMarch 21-April 20
Retail therapy
Only helps those with money.
Save your pennies friend.

Taurus April 21-May 20
Buy lots of hoodies
Like security blankets.
It’s getting cold now.

Gemini May 21-June 21
Miss Luna predicts
Orange makeup is ugly.
Natural is best.

Cancer June 22-July 22
Watch out for the leaves.
They are very slippery.
Break a leg, miss school!

Leo July 23-August 22
Fin. Aid not for pot!
Get a job for extra dough.
Or collect some cans.

Virgo August 23-September 22
Midterms coming up.
If you are not ready,
They will be painful.

Libra September 23-October 23
Walks in rain not bad
Can calm storms in your mind.
Make sure to dress warm.

Scorpio October 24-November 21
Birthday coming soon?
Hopefully lots of presents!
Don’t drink too much beer!

Sagittarius November22-December 21
Fifth Ave. Cinema
Is good for when you are broke
Cheap films, not boring

Capricorn December 22-January 20
Watch out for streetcar.
It can sneak up behind you,
It eats students whole.

Aquarius January 21-February 19
Internet good way
To waste a whole lot of time
Don’t browse porn in lib.

Pisces February 20-March 20
Caffeine is your friend.
Starbucks may be “corporate,”
At least consistent.