Homeless harassment

Portland isn’t exactly the Big Bad Wolf as far as major cities are concerned. It barely outranks Oklahoma City for the number 30 spot on the list of U.S. cities by population. The city I moved from, a sprawling metropolitan wasteland of gauche excess and SUVs, comes in at number five. Psychologically, that’s quite a difference. Portland has always struck me as a more of a little mountaintop town than a bustling metropolis and, barring a few specific situations, I feel pretty safe and at ease on the streets in Portland.

As in any other major city, there are a few homeless people here. More than a few, in fact. In an article out this week, San Francisco Examiner writer Hugh Patterson calls the city’s homelessness situation a crisis. If it is a crisis in San Francisco, it is a disaster in Portland. In its 2008 Annual Homeless Assessment Report to Congress, the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development found that Oregon has the highest percentage of homeless people in the country. For a little mountaintop town, that’s quite an accomplishment, and it earns us very close quarters with our burgeoning homeless horde. Part of the vicious cycle of overpopulation in any species is aggression.

The problems facing homeless people are dire and manifold, and I will not pretend to understand them. What I do understand is that it is hard to sympathize with a guy who calls me an “ugly c**t” because I didn’t give him a quarter. When this individual accosted my friend and me over the desired quarter, we both refused. His verbal onslaught (all of which was obscene to the level of being unprintable) was directed solely at me. Why? The person I was with happens to be a large dude. A large dude who said nothing in my defense, however, because he didn’t need to. Unbeknownst to the offending urchin, I am the far more aggressive of the two of us, a veteran of the United Stated armed forces and far more versed in handling incursions upon my person by unwanted interlopers.

After I dealt the young man his verbal excoriation and sent him away tail-tucked, I discussed this matter with my friend. We arrived at the conclusion that men don’t get harassed nearly as much because they just don’t appear to be an easy target. Though I am anything but an easy target, I get attacked solely for the perceived weakness of being female. That’s right, ladies; another of the many gifts society bestows upon us, along with our X chromosome, is the fact that the vast majority of unprovoked aggressive behavior is directed at us.

Most of the women I know are not weak or passive by any means, but are also not tough-as-nails bitches with something to prove, like me. Most of us would love to help someone in need, and do at every opportunity (even me). However, the immediate and intense aggression of the homeless population (and men in general, but that is another article) toward females places us in the position of not having the choice to be compassionate because of clear and present physical danger to our lives.

I wanted this article to be more than another “Don’t let those boys push you around” piece, but it appears to me that it is necessary. Women are taught to be nice above all. Not to make a fuss. To smile. We are rarely taught that it is OK to have strong personal boundaries and to know what we are not comfortable with. We are rarely taught that it is OK to tell some jerk who thinks he can take advantage of us to fuck off. Ladies, to pick up where your mommas failed you, I am telling you it’s OK.

Tell strange men to back away. Refuse interactions that make you feel uneasy. That feeling is an instinct you need to learn to trust. My unyielding and confrontational interaction style may not work for everyone, but find something that works for you. It would be wonderful to be able to be as kind and carefree as we want to, but the bottom line is that someone who is dangerous will take advantage of your desire not to be perceived as impolite. I would rather some stranger think I am a bitch than a victim, and I would rather that all of you feel entitled to be unfriendly than wind up in the morgue. Have hard boundaries and do not be afraid of what people will think of them. The safer you feel to protect yourself, the kinder you can be when you want to, and that benefits everyone.