Aries
March 21-April 19
When that person from your past re-appears and wants to make amends, it’s not always best to let them. Be prepared to be thrown for a loop.
Taurus
April 20-May 20
This might not be an advice column, but I feel pretty safe in telling you that you’re going about this all wrong. You might think you’re not hurting anyone’s feelings, but you are.
Gemini
May 21-June 20
Pop-Tarts are not a viable dinner resource. I know you think so because you just finished dead week, but an addiction to Pop-Tarts could be in your future if you are not careful.
Cancer
June 21-July 22
Much like a VHS tape, be kind and rewind yourself this week. Walk down memory lane and see if there’s anything you could easily make amends for.
Leo
July 23-August 22
I spent this morning trying to think of a good antonym for annoyance. You probably feel that way, Leo, what with all those final exams on the same day. But there isn’t a fitting word, sadly.
Virgo
August 23-September 22
Let’s just be honest, your best friend is really your best frenemy. I mean, that’s okay, but that’s also about the least healthy thing for you. Invest in your good friendships this week.
Libra
September 23-October 22
You share a birthday with a celebrity you really admire. But be wary, for they are human and are on the verge of letting you down if they haven’t already.
Scorpio
October 23-November 21
Spend the energy of this next week investing in a new skill, Scorpio. You have a lot to put out into the universe, might as well use it for something.
Sagittarius
November 22-December 21
The theme song stuck in your head is not the one from Daria. It’s actually the theme song to that one game show that you always wanted to get on when you were a kid.
Capricorn
December 22-January 19
Moon Shoes are coming back in style. Time to invest.
Aquarius
January 20-February 18
Spend some time at a record store this week, Aquarius. The exploration of the space will yield some amazing results for you and yours.
Pisces
February 20-March 19
You’re not crazy. The person living below you really has taken up the bagpipes. I know.
