March 21-April 19
When that person from your past re-appears and wants to make amends, it’s not always best to let them. Be prepared to be thrown for a loop.
April 20-May 20
This might not be an advice column, but I feel pretty safe in telling you that you’re going about this all wrong. You might think you’re not hurting anyone’s feelings, but you are.
May 21-June 20
Pop-Tarts are not a viable dinner resource. I know you think so because you just finished dead week, but an addiction to Pop-Tarts could be in your future if you are not careful.
June 21-July 22
Much like a VHS tape, be kind and rewind yourself this week. Walk down memory lane and see if there’s anything you could easily make amends for.
July 23-August 22
I spent this morning trying to think of a good antonym for annoyance. You probably feel that way, Leo, what with all those final exams on the same day. But there isn’t a fitting word, sadly.
August 23-September 22
Let’s just be honest, your best friend is really your best frenemy. I mean, that’s okay, but that’s also about the least healthy thing for you. Invest in your good friendships this week.
September 23-October 22
You share a birthday with a celebrity you really admire. But be wary, for they are human and are on the verge of letting you down if they haven’t already.
October 23-November 21
Spend the energy of this next week investing in a new skill, Scorpio. You have a lot to put out into the universe, might as well use it for something.
November 22-December 21
The theme song stuck in your head is not the one from Daria. It’s actually the theme song to that one game show that you always wanted to get on when you were a kid.
December 22-January 19
Moon Shoes are coming back in style. Time to invest.
January 20-February 18
Spend some time at a record store this week, Aquarius. The exploration of the space will yield some amazing results for you and yours.
February 20-March 19
You’re not crazy. The person living below you really has taken up the bagpipes. I know.