Leave your pot t-shirt in your mom’s basement

During my freshman year of college, a student on my floor decided it would be a good idea to hang a large marijuana flag on his wall above his bed. Afterward, he insisted that everyone come and look at it and sat there with a proud grin on his face as if he had accomplished something great.

In a shocking twist of events, he got busted for marijuana possession the very next week.

I’m not someone who claims to know much about marijuana subculture. For me it’s still a mystery and one I have no interest in solving. Nevertheless, I am a citizen with eyes and I generally like not-tacky clothing and decorations.

As far as legalizing marijuana: go for it, I really couldn’t care less. However, if legalizing marijuana leads to more people adorning pot-themed accessories and clothes,  please keep it illegal.

When I see a marijuana throw blanket at someone’s house,  I don’t immediately think, “Wow, look how cool and chill these people are.” Rather, I immediately assume that they’re people who may or may not be renting their rad basement apartment from their mom.

I’m not saying that loving marijuana is a bad thing or sticks you in a perpetual state of adolescence, but pot-themed items are some of the tackiest clothes and décor someone could choose to put in their house or on their body.

For the most part, it seems that people who wear shirts with marijuana leaves on them are merely trying to tell the world, “Hey, everyone, I smoke weed and I like it.” In my opinion, this is unnecessary and only attracts unwanted attention.

Don’t get me wrong, wearing clothes that reflect your interests and hobbies is a great way to express yourself without saying much. On the other hand, maybe wearing a shirt reflecting the substances you like to use is not in the same ballpark.

I don’t want to sound mean, but if using marijuana is how you express yourself, I can’t help but feel you might be the sort of person who’d borrow gas money and never pay me back. On the spectrum of tacky clothing, marijuana-themed clothing is somewhere above ironically worn tacky sweaters and a bit below anything from Hot Topic.

I know the neon felt poster with Bob Marley smoking a joint—where the smoke turns into a peace sign—is totally sweet, but its sweetness factor decreases exponentially once you’re over the age of 20. People who still don the tie-dye shirt with the pot leaf or the hat with a 420 reference are the remnants of a bygone era. Somehow they’re clinging to the youthful exhilaration that goes along with wearing clothes that label them counter-cultural or rebellious, while still parading around like an enlightened, peace-loving individual.

A person who has a marijuana poster occupies the same spot in my mind as someone who would have a neon-lit Coors sign in their man cave. Only, the person with the marijuana shirt, I imagine, probably smells worse than the Coors guy.

So I ask all stoners, marijuana enthusiasts and  occasional partakers in that sweet sticky icky: leave your marijuana-leaf clothes at home and weed décor in the trunk with your high school yearbooks. Yes, that means you, stoner girl with the marijuana bikini, and you, college freshman with the weed flag, and yes, even you, 30-year-old guy with the casual IT job.

The only people who get a free pass in my book are older folks who actually grew up during the ’60s and ’70s. Today’s youth will remain guilty in my eyes so long as they continue to commit this tacky infraction.