Re$tiform Bod1es

Well folks, I’m a stupid, little, white boy (so what do I know?), but I have grown puke tired of top 40 booty rap. “Dolla dolla bill,” “back that ass up” and so on, so forth. “Ritchie, this is totally new. It’s like nothing I’ve ever heard,” said PSU student Joel Holly, as he handed me Pointless Recordings new Re$tiform Bod1es.

The artwork on this album is totally cool, so I had a good feeling about it, you know? Well I didn’t want to judge a book by its cover, so I threw it in, sat back and gave her a go.

It’s like a breath of fresh air from the get go. I love it. It’s an extremely intelligent, well-crafted, groundbreaking hip-hop album. Re$tiform Bod1es does something that very few hip-hop groups do.

They do some serious experimenting and they do it very well. It’s not sampled crap from a bad ’80s song with some contrived, self-indulgent, recycled rhymes slapped on top. Re$tiform has given us all a gift to cherish, a new start!

The shame is that this indie hip-hop group doesn’t have (and probably detests) major label help, dirty money, lawyers, hype machines, and$3 million “MTV” video budgets, so 99 percent of (so-called hip-hop) fans will never hear it. I very much doubt these guys are going to be doing any “shout outs” at MTV’s spring break frat-a-thon. My problem with top 40 hip-hop is that they (evil major labels) take a piece of crap filled with pieces of corn off the side off the toilet, shine it up by way-over-producing it, put it in a shiny “hip” box and people buy it up like sheep. Meanwhile actual diamonds in the rough like this go unnoticed by the masses.

It’s probably for the best. I wouldn’t want to hear this album being blasted out of any frat house anyway. It would make me sad. Well, take a break from your studies and your drankerin’ and check this album out. It opened my eyes. The blind can now see. Even blind, little, white boys like me.