The Hawthorne Theatre

If you like good music and enjoy equally good food, then you should probably ditch your lonely date with over-seasoned Top Ramen and iTunes and make a trip to The Hawthorne Theatre instead.

The Hawthorne is a club that provides entertainment in the form of live band performances—from indie, punk and metal to pop, rock, country and reggae—and menu items in the form of dishes, appetizers, snacks and drinks.

And for those lucky individuals born in or before 1990, there’s a full bar. It is friendly for all ages (with sections reserved for patrons 21 and older). Show tickets can be purchased at hawthornetheater.com and generally range from $5–25.

The establishment also accommodates all different types of people. For example, if you want to go there to make friends, just attend any metal, punk rock or reggae concert.

The trick is to situate oneself in the midst of a group of people you’d potentially like to make friends with, and when you’ve developed the proper head-bobbing technique, look around and make eye contact with someone. Smile a little to show that you are friendly. (Don’t smile too much. That’s creepy.) And presto! Instant camaraderie. Works every time.

If, however, you have too many friends, you may also rent The Hawthorne Theatre. Simply contact the Booking and Production Manager Nic Yannariello at [email protected]

So the next time you’re on the verge of having another one of those ramen-packet-eating, downloaded-music-listening lonely nights, take my advice: Your time and money will be better spent on tasty food and awesomely loud music in the presence of other people at The Hawthorne Theatre.

The Hawthorne Theatre
1507 SE 39th Ave.
503-233-7100
www.hawthornetheater.com