The Lookout

Fidel Castro announced this week that he doesn’t want to be president of Cuba anymore. The 81-year-old handed the reigns over to younger brother Raul in July 2006 when he fell ill, and after Castro’s statement this week, the government is scrambling to “elect” a new president soon. Lil’ Castro seems to be the favorite.

Yes, this is all great big news, and there are plenty of good questions we could pose. Such as, why? Is it because Castro knows he’s going to die and doesn’t want to risk leaving the people of Cuba with a democratic leader?

But what we really want to know is why in every picture of Castro we’ve seen in the last decade he is wearing an Adidas tracksuit. We can assume it’s not because he goes out jogging every morning. He is ancient and frail. And he’s always got a nylon number on. Our advice, if he is really set in his fashion ways, is cotton. Let your skin breathe, man. You might live longer…. Then again, probably not.

Overview: If you rule the same country for five decades, we guess you can wear whatever you want.

Lindsay Lohan is the new Marilyn Monroe. Wait. Scratch that. Lindsay Lohan wants to be the new Marilyn Monroe, and we think it’s creepy and gross. Yes, that’s better.

Lohan recently did a photo shoot for New York Magazine with seasoned pro Bert Stern to recreate the last professional shoot Monroe did before dying of an overdose. Done in the same hotel, with the same photographer and a short blonde wig, Lohan mimicked several of the famous Monroe photos from a series which is now referred to as “The Last Sitting.” Oh, and did we mention the shoot was naked? Lohan stripped down, just like the original icon.

We bring it up because of the weirdness factor (which is pretty high if you’ve seen the pictures–and you should–so Google it) and because of the spooky parallel between Monroe’s and Lohan’s alleged drug habits. Monroe died six weeks after her photo shoot, at the age of 36. Here’s to hoping Lohan makes it longer than six weeks. Say, at least until she’s 22.

Overview: Who will you put your money on in our Celebrity Death Pool: Lohan or Castro? We take Lohan. Looks like Elton John might have another hit on his hands soon.

We’ve been hearing about “Oscar buzz” for months. Now the award ceremony is almost, finally, here. The 80th annual Academy Awards will air live this Sunday at 5 p.m. PST. Yay!

We admit it: We may spend a little too much time watching E! and reading Entertainment Weekly, but the truth is it seems like everyone has been talking about the Oscars since No Country For Old Men hit theaters. The Academy is too stuffy to give the Coen Brothers’ film the Best Picture win it deserves, but maybe they’ll surprise us. They sure as hell won’t give it to the cutesy Juno. Yes, everyone likes Juno, with its heroine and soundtrack that are so quirky it hurts, but it’s no best picture. The nomination is a joke.

As far as Best Actor goes, there’s no point in holding a vote when Daniel Day Lewis is in the category. If he doesn’t win for the lead in There Will Be Blood, he’ll probably get up on stage and smash host Jon Stewart’s head in with a bowling pin…. Get it? We’re also afraid Cate Blanchett won’t take home the Best Supporting Actress award for her role in I’m Not There, but we really, really think she should.

Overview: Stewart is hosting again…. Maybe we should just wait to read the results online.

Oh, hell yes, the writers’ strike is over. It’ll still be weeks, but we’re chomping at the bit for new episodes. Now Izzie and George can officially break up on Grey’s Anatomy, and Dwight and Angela can get back together on The Office. Raise your hand if you’re tired of stupid game shows like the emotionally sadistic The Moment of Truth and the ridiculous My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad? < /i>We thought so.

Overview: We miss TV, and don’t act so superior, because we know you do too.