The Street Savage

Umple goosaka aff howij co waa mfurtaboo shikyitewauption quootioneding fwart untaguntamikyomouwooptis barf.

Can I interview you?For what?

The Portland State Vanguard. I dunno, I’m kind of scared.

You don’t need to be scared, just do your best. Okay.

All I need from you… I’m gonna give you a fake word and all you need to do is give me what it is, like a verb or a noun, or… what’s the other one? Adjective… and uh… and a definition. Okay, here’s the fake word: fooberschnab. Fooberschnabt.

Fooberschnab, not with a “t”. Just off the top of your head. Foober sounds like a lot of something. I’m gonna go with like really hip. That sounds like a really awful slang term.

Sounds like, cool, like “he has the fooberschnabinist car I have ever seen.” “-schnabinist” I like that.

Okay, here’s another one: gerk. Oh, that’s bad… uhm…

Is it a bad thing or…?I think it would be an adjective… or that’s so gerk… what would that mean?

I don’t know, I don’t know what “gerk” is… look into your soul. Yeah, I’m digging deep. Maybe that’s baggage, like negative baggage. “He’s got a lot of gerk.”

Yeah, that’s good. Now here’s another one: thoopinator. Uhm… hmm… maybe, like you call some dude a thoopinator if… hm… like they’d be like “Ah! Thoopinator, dude!” but I can’t imagine why.

It could also be like a tool. You mean like, the thoopinator.

What kind of tool would it be? Maybe something involving… like a plumbing tool, how about that. Like some kind of…

Yeah! Some form of… yeah, like my plumbing business has gotten better…Now that I’ve adopted the thoopinator.

I’ll give you two more. Okay: formacktion. Formacktion? Sounds academic, so… formacktion… like sounds like some kind of literary term that you would use. Like “this piece utilizes formacktion successfully,” like in the way you form your…

Or it could be they’re using metaphors having to do with uh… dirt. Right!

“There’s a lot of ‘formacktion’ in the story, it got a little old.” Exactly! “He was using too much ‘formacktion’ for my taste.”

Okay, tchurageewuck. That would be like the nickname of some kid that was in, what’s the name of the movie that I’m thinking of? That they all play baseball that was really good.

The Sandlot ? Mmm-hmm. Like say it again.

The Sandlot ? No, the word.

Tchurageewuck. Like the character Smalls, like, they would call him the tchurageewuck.

“Smalls, you’re the biggest tchurageewuck!” [laughs] Exactly!

Anonoymous 2

Watahfnum. Uhm… a noun, and ah… it’s something in the universe with mass.

Like water, maybe? Yeah, like anything.

So like you could say, “there’s a watahfnum over there of pinecones in space.” Or it’s something that you’re not sure the actual name of.

So it’s just a mass of stuff? Yeah.

So like, “there’s a watahfnum on the map over here.” Okay… uh… sumteros. I guess that would be like, a verb.

Okay. Sumterosing.

So, what would sumterosing be? It would be something that involves… like a sport or something.

Okay, maybe Sumteros is a sport. Yeah, it’s like a sport that involves like a buwel.

A buwel? What’s a buwel? Like an animal.

Oh, a bull! Is that how you say it?

I say bull. Ya know, I have a friend who says belldine, instead of building. Isn’t that weird? You say belldine?

No, my friend says belldine, I say building. “Look at that belldine!” Okay… savahgee. It’s, like, something that’s not very clean.

So, like, “we went to the movie theater…”…And it was quite savahgee, like soggy.

Like the movie seats were……Damp.

Moldy? Rancid? Like maybe they had moldy soda pop all over. Savahgee.

Flingotumum. That’s an adjective and that means like crazy, like wild. Like that band I saw a while back, I would say they were flingotumum.

Yeah, totally flingotumum. “They totally blew some minds, they almost caused a riot. They were SO flingotumum.” Or maybe flingo, for short. Yeah, “they were really flingo, man.”

If they were really good, “they were quite flingotumum.” It’s worth saying the whole word.

Yeah, when they’re really crazy, really good, the whole word. Totally.

Fote. That’s a verb, you go foting. It’s like playing at something.

Playing what? Just, like, running around and playing.

Frolicking, maybe? Yeah, frolicking.

Maybe it’s a specific kind of frolicking. Yeah, it has to involve wild flowers.

Okay, picking wild flowers, eating wild flowers. Yeah, picking wild flowers!