Another lonely night

Since the Vanguard has about 17 daily readers, we don’t get a ton of letters. Meanwhile, our friend and Suicide Girl – let’s call her Cauldron – gets about 30 messages a week. The following aren’t even the worst of the worst, as Cauldron deletes the juiciest ones by natural human reflex. This filth can make you flinch. All typos and misspellings have been left intact for effect.

you have the best body out of all the girls on this site. i just spied your new set and it made me want to do everything to you. i only hope somebody is enjoying the pleasure of that body, because it would be a terrible body to waste.
-bob

Hi im Matthew I do not mean to offend (cuz I’m a guy) but I have some questions for you. How many men write to you because you 2 are beautiful? Do you like men? Are you available? I am into being best friends then lovers. Do you want to try? Are you interested? And part of my fantasy is to look like you because now I do not. I used to and I have pictures. I had a mohawk and everything but this time

I want you to make your man so to speak. All I can offer is a firm yes or no but other than that I’m all yours. Right now I look like a shaved headed hick….yucky yucky yucky! But that’s my roots. Well I do have 7 ear ring holes!

Anyway hope you are interested.
-Matthew

I’m trying to win the contest for Seattle’s Sexiest bartender. If you would please go to ________.com, and vote for Henry at the ________Lounge as sexiest bartender, I would be most greatful. And if you ever come out here, you can drink to your heart’s content, and your tab will be $2.00. Thanks
-Henry

the provocation you dish out is obviously more than the law allows.
It’s almost more than I can stand.
I wish I could do something about it!

Message:

just wanted to know if you want some of this dick girl…

your striking blue eyes against that black hair within your procelain skin creates an amazing effect, You have one of the finest asses on the site, wish i cOULD HAVE TAKEN THAT UNDERWEAR OFF WITH MY TEETH!!!!!!!!! oh damn bad fingers………..

thanks for gracing my screen, thanks for the tantalyzing shots of your tight little body, and lastly thanks for just being.
-drummer

Message:

Thundering Typhoons!

You have beautiful skin, enticing eyes, and pretty armpits!