The old TV paradigm is dead. Network TV exposed its soft underbelly, and we, the TV-watching public, tore into it like a pack of bloodthirsty dogs. But it’s not meat we’re after–it’s the eye-chomping beast of instant gratification. NO! we said. We don’t want to watch commercials.
The old TV paradigm is dead. Network TV exposed its soft underbelly, and we, the TV-watching public, tore into it like a pack of bloodthirsty dogs.
But it’s not meat we’re after–it’s the eye-chomping beast of instant gratification. NO! we said. We don’t want to watch commercials. NO! We don’t want to wait for our favorite shows to come on. We want them right now! And if you don’t give us what we want, we’ll steal it from the Internet.
So the television powers-that-be responded in the only way they could: They gave us exactly what we demanded–access to our favorite shows at any time, even the ability to skip commercials.
TIVO was first, but Comcast’s On Demand–and similar services nationwide–has now become standard. Never before have TV viewers had such control over the audio-visual information streaming into our eyeballs.
On Demand also brings us features that never existed before. Dig deep within your Comcast menu and you’ll find layers upon layers of weird videos, arcane movies and a host of other oddities. It’s like a treasure hunt. But the treasure is the distended crap leftover from years of an oversaturated media.Here’s a sampling of these little-known goodies:
They Live HDWhere to find it:-HD On Demand-Free Movies!-All Movies
With only a minimal number of high-definition quality free movies On Demand, you’d think they would present only the best, right? Wrong! Relive the crappy glory of the WWF vs. consumerist alien masterpiece, They Live, in crisp color and perfect sound. Shit never looked so good.
Hip Hop HarryWhere to find it:-Discovery Networks-Discovery Kids!
If you’ve ever thought educational kids shows need far less education in them, then you will love Hip Hop Harry. The valuable lessons range from “What are dried apples?” to the importance of drinking water-all taught by a rapping teddy bear.
Dating on DemandWhere to find it:-Local Programs
Desperation can be hilarious. That’s why Dating on Demand is awesome. The program lets the voyeuristic (or love-starved) peer into the hearts of dateless Oregonians, who are hopeless enough to post soul-rending videos of themselves on cable in order to find a date.
Goodnight BabyWhere to find it:-Baby Boost
Babies and drug addicts have a lot in common. They both love to lie on their backs, poop themselves, stare at swirling colors and listen to songs about napping. At least I assume they do. So if you are a drug addict (or a baby), the bedtime show Goodnight Baby is right up your alley.
Live and LearnWhere to see it:-Cutting Edge-Something Weird-School Scare Films
What happens when kids have too much fun? According to this old classroom film, they will drown, get cut and plummet horribly down cliffs. Great lesson!