Swag of our lives

One of the perks of working for the Vanguard (along with the six-figure salary and weekly make-out parties) is the free stuff that people send us in the hopes that we will write about it.

Creating Congratulations

Few bands will ever find themselves in the position Congratulations is currently in. Despite having no recordings to its name and not having played a single show with its full lineup, the 12-piece folk orchestra is already nearing the top of the massive cloud of buzz surrounding Portland’s music scene.

Taking what they dish out

Bartenders and college students share common ground in that they both spend an undue amount of time in the company of liquor. But where college students are more interested in “quantity,” bartenders at least have an opportunity for exposure to the “quality” side of the equation.

Bonkers for breakfast

Though there is some argument on the point, historians generally agree that breakfast was developed during the time of the Ancient Greeks, likely in the Middle to Late Bronze Age. Originally a simple diversion from the day-to-day troubles of swine herding and fearsome battle, breakfast quickly rose in popularity to the point where it had eclipsed “lunch” as the Grecian Isles’ favorite meal by the time of Bronze Age collapse.

An order of hotness, please

Note: The hotness of various staffs has been tallied using a sliding scaling of Natalie Portmans, wherein 1 Natalie Portman is equal to “un-porkable” and 5 Natalie Portmans is equal to “so porkable that you’ll have a hard time focusing on your eggs benedict.”

Getting to Portland State

Unless you’re a member of the Saudi royal family or are on familiar terms with Jed Clampett The Beverly Hillbillies fame, chances are you’re hurtin’ at the pump over continually rising gas prices. Fortunately, this “slight recession” need not interfere with your daily commute, thanks to these handy resources for getting yourself to Portland State with ease and thrift.

Northeast Portland

Question someone who has lived in this fair city for more than 10 years and they will relate to you, with jaw agape, how shocked they are that Northeast Alberta has become the bustling consumer district it currently is.

Dental problems

There’s something morbidly appealing about Meth Teeth. With a name bound to elicit reaction, it’s no surprise that this Portland noise-folk trio has been gaining attention. But the grating rot implied by their moniker, and fulfilled by their fuzz-blasted tunes, is proving more than a little divisive. If nothing else, Meth Teeth’s serrated folk is certainly distinctive, and according to guitarist/singer Mattey Hunter, those signature abrasions developed at least partly by chance.