Bridgetown booty shaking

Gaggles of young people explore Portland’s night scene for the joy of boozing and dancing among strangers. I occasionally take brief forays into this world, usually under the pretense of bachelorette parties, birthdays and breakup recoveries.

I have seen the closure of The Agency, H2O, Greek Cusina, Bettie Ford and more. I can’t say I miss the $10 covers, but when one club or lounge closes, another seems to open in Portland. Now, if we could combine the free gaming consoles from The Agency, the $2.95 food menu from H20, Greek Cusina’s big looming purple octopus and the hot wait staff from Bettie Ford, we could have a fun club…but I digress.

Let’s start with the big dog in Rose City. Concept Entertainment has a heavy hand in Portland’s night scene, including Grand Central, Thirsty Lion, Lotus, Gypsy, Barracuda, Dixie Tavern and Duke’s. Grand Central (808 SE Morrison St.) includes overpriced bowling and meals.

If you are looking for swarms of hot bodies and floors sticky with spilt drinks, Barracuda (9 NW Second Ave.), which is advertised as “Portland’s premiere nightclub,” is the place. It’s as if someone read about wild parties at the Playboy Mansion and attempted to reenact them.

Nights at Barracuda usually start innocently enough (or not) with themes such as a foam party, a naughty schoolgirl party or pajama (aka friction) party. The music isn’t terrible, but this place usually ends up too busy and crowded to be fun.

The girls and I can usually carve out a place on the dance floor at Dixie Tavern (32 NW Third Avenue). Dixie’s strikes me as a Coyote Ugly knockoff. With trucker hats, elk heads and brassieres hanging from the ceiling and walls, the decor will leave you in awe, at least for a moment. Keep the Pabst and Jell-O shots coming so you can ignore the creepy guys upstairs, watching you with blank stares and open mouths.

Periodically at Dixie’s, the DJ will ask for ladies to dance on the bar, carefully holding onto straps hanging from above. Before thinking of gyrating with your lady friends on the bar, please check that you are wearing jeans or black tights under that miniskirt. Seriously, check. Just a few alcoholic beverages will play tricks on your memory, and you can’t hear a damn thing your friends are telling you once you’re on the bar. Opposite the bar, you can see a slideshow of music videos and party photos.

Across the street is Dirty (35 NW Third Ave.). On most nights, you will experience very loud music, some well-dressed folks and girls clamoring to get their “grind” on while pole dancing. They often have some nice throwbacks to the ’80s in their music selection. At all hours, you may find the female employees in knee-high boots, fishnet stockings and leotards. 

Move toward Powell’s City of Books and you will find Aura (1022 W Burnside St.). The bouncer on any particular night can make or break your experience at Aura. What I’ve learned for boys—no flip-flops, no shorts, tuck in your shirt, sunglasses at night (à la Corey Hart) are a fashion statement and bring a girl with decent cleavage.

If you want to experiment with the past, go to Holocene (1001 SE Morrison St.) for SNAP! ’90s Dance Party, or check out Lola’s Room at the Crystal Ballroom (1332 W Burnside St.) for ’80s Video Dance Attack. You are encouraged to dress as the decade dictates.

Another fun place to enjoy good DJs is the classic arcade Ground Kontrol (511 NW Couch St.). Depending on the DJ, you may be listening to heavy metal or hip-hop. A good thing about this place is that if you prefer not to dance, you can always play a video game.

Now I’ll discuss a few choice places if you prefer a smaller dance atmosphere. Dante’s (1 SW Third Ave.) features local punk rock and the occasional cabaret or burlesque. Jimmy Mak’s (221 NW 10th Ave.) is the place to enjoy jazz music. One can often groove to great live music at the Goodfoot (2845 SE Stark St.), my favorite performers being the Quick and Easy Boys.

If you are craving an old-school, tiki-bar experience and fun karaoke night, head north to Alibi (4024 N Interstate Ave.). Karaoke starts at 9 p.m. every night. After dinner, join everyone on the dance floor as Alibi transforms into a nightclub.

If you’re willing to get beyond the city limits, I recommend venturing to Tualatin for a country-western dancehall called Bushwhackers (8200 SW Tonka St., Tualatin). Learn to country line-dance, or show off your already-well-sharpened skills for the locals. 

I would be remiss not to mention the party-hearty local gay dance clubs. Embers (110 NW Broadway) may be the most well-known and tame. I have seen all ranges of age and gender at Embers, and would even take my fun-loving extended family there for a good time.

C.C. Slaughters (219 NW Davis), also known as CCs, carries a crowd that tends to be a bit more wild and loud than Embers. At the far end of the spectrum, Silverado (318 SW Third Ave.) offers you dancing and male full-frontal nudity.