Jesus was a liberal

OK, Christians. As we approach Jesus’ 2005th birthday, it’s time to follow his words and stop voting Republican.

Read the Bible and you will see the obvious: Jesus was a bleeding-heart liberal. He believed in the core liberal values: feed the hungry. Cure the sick. Be nice to people. Don’t hurt others. Share. Take care of each other. The ideals that conservatives hate and fear with all of their being, these are the values that Jesus Christ held dear.

Read the Bible: Jesus did not like the rich. From John 2, when he threw over the moneychanger’s tables, to when he said, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God" (Matt. 19:24) he never mentioned "free trade" or "estate tax." Being rich wasn’t the bad thing, however; it was the greed that came with it. If a rich man gave away all he owned, he could go to heaven (Mk. 10:21). But wealthy Republicans don’t have such a good chance.

Imagine Jesus in modern society. Would he forget that archaic "turning the other cheek" nonsense, and advocate wars of aggression and the death penalty? Of course not. "Whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also" (Matt 5:39). So why do so many Christians turn to the warlike Republican Party, if Jesus never would have? God, guns and gays, goes the conservative mantra. Many Christians erroneously believe that Jesus was against homosexuality, and join the conservatives to keep with their church. In fact, it is the church that calls homosexuality a sin, and not the Savior on which the church is based.

Jesus never advocates homosexuality in the Bible, but neither does he condemn it. To say that he would not allow two monogamous, devout Christians of the same sex entry into heaven for loving one another is absurd. The story of Sodom and Gommorah (Gen. 19), which is usually trumpeted as proof of the Bible’s condemnation of homosexuality, is inapplicable. They were perverts there, sure. They would have "known" anything that crossed their path, even the two angels who visited. But to say that rapists are the same as gays is not an interpretation that can be attributed to Christ.

As for Leviticus 18:22, "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination," the Hebrew word for "abomination" was "to’ebah." It was also used to describe the mixing of meat and milk pans in a kitchen, wearing a belt on Saturdays, and other "ritual impurities;" the word for "moral violation," or sin, is not used in connection with any of these acts.

Jesus loved everyone, unlike modern conservatives. He hung out with prostitutes and thieves; he would treat gays differently than Pat Robertson does. Even if they were sinners, it doesn’t mean they deserve condemnation or second-class status. The compassion of Jesus cannot be translated into the condemnation of the Religious Right. They condemn others not because they are Christians but because they are mean.

The Son of God did not advocate striking potential enemies first, or keeping what you earn without sharing, or condemning other sinners. Jesus was definitely not a conservative.

Come on, Christians. It’s time to start reading the book yourself and finding some people to talk about it with besides the dittoheads that watch Fox News all day long. Because when the Rapture comes, you can be sure that the hypocrites and conservatives will be the ones left behind.

Chaelan MacTavish can be reached at [email protected]