Halloween is a mere four days away, and you’re starting to question whether that Guantanamo Bay detainee costume you made is in good taste after all. You need a new costume ?” fast. What do you do? Turn to the amazing power of the internet, of course! Only now you don’t have to, because the Vanguard has already scoured Google for the “best” last-minute costumes ideas out there.
This costume is sure to get a lot of laughs, because people will be laughing every time you get kicked in the balls. Repeatedly. If you’re determined not to get laid for like, at least a year, this ought to do to the trick.
Embrace your inner nerd
Can’t decide which of your favorite video game characters you want to be? Why not just go as your favorite video game system! And here’s the best part: whether you’re a fan of the X-Box or the Atari Jaguar, they’re all square shaped! A box and some spray paint is all you need to ensure that, like the mammogram dude above, you will not be having sex for a very, very long time.
One-man crime-fighting force
Don’t have a costume? Turns out you don’t need one! All you need are those spare cans of paint in the garage and you’re set. A spot of red paint here, a dab of blue paint there, and voila! You’re a superhero!
Ummm – yeah
Some super-glue and a trip to your local adult superstore is all you need to make this little ditty. But why not do this guy one better: glue the penises right on to your skin. Especially your face. That would make you really cool.
Make a political statement
Incensed about the moralistic proliferation of FCC media regulation? Want to see how long you can go without sitting down or taking a piss? Then this costume is perfect. Your guess is as good as mine about how to keep the damn thing on, though.
I know this isn’t a costume, but it could be! I mean come on, it’s Rasputin – he was bad ass! Use your imagination, people!