Look out, France! Here we come!’

France doesn’t like us anymore. Neither does the majority of thecivilized world, it would seem, but the sentiment is strongest inFrance.

“[The United States] is too aggressive, too full of itself,” aFrench dentist told a reporter for the Associated Press.

“Before the Iraq war, my friends and I all felt a strongsympathy with America,” another Frenchman explained. “Now we see norespect for people’s human rights or international agreements.”

One French child said that on a recent visit to the UnitedStates he was bullied by kids wearing buttons that said, “AfterBaghdad, Paris.”

Now, that’s downright wrong.

Is it true? Are people in the United States changing?

It doesn’t matter if you’re from France, the United States orIraq, this business in Iraq can upset any person – though I’m sureit especially outrages Iraqis. This “war” is full of humaninjustices, lies, deceits and unnecessary deaths.

And for what? Freedom?

At the rate that the U.S. military is killing civilians therewon’t be any “free” Iraqis left to vote in their first “democratic”election next January. Liberating people with bombs is not theanswer. Even I can see that, and I’m a U.S. citizen!

But an important distinction needs to be made here. A lot ofpeople (apparently most of them French) are saying that the UnitedStates is “crazy,” that the United States wants to “rule theworld,” that the United States is “trying to franchisedemocracy.”

But it’s not the United States. It’s the U.S. government andmilitary, working of their own volition. Sure, we elected them(with a few votes stolen here and there) and it’s our taxes thatare funding them. It’s the media. It’s the Bush administration.It’s a few hundred or so very rich, corrupt white men. And most ofus hate them. But they are not the United States!

Please, France, don’t give up on us yet. Let’s not throw out thebaby with the Bushwater. We are doing our best to get George W. outof office and on November 2nd we’ll hopefully send him packing andthen throw a huge friggin Franco-American party.

We, the people of the United States, do not endorse the invasionof Iraq anymore than you do, France. It’s important to make thisdistinction between us and them. It’s the distance of planets.

And for the record, France, not everyone in the United States isa blind consumer. And we’re not all fat, either. I haven’t eaten ata McDonald’s in ten years!

But apparently, “we” are not the only ones profiting from Iraq.Recent news reports suggest that it was “you,” France, who sold Mr.Hussein a lot of his weapons during the 80s (with the rest of themcoming from “us”).

It also appears that it was you, France, who stood to lose oneof the biggest chunks of oil revenue if “we” invaded Iraq. Yes,France, according to The Washington Post it was Total Fina Elf, oneof “your” companies that worked really hard to negotiate the rightsto develop nearly 30 billion barrels of oil in Iraq.

The Washington Times says, “Iraq’s Mirage F-1 fighter jets weremade by France’s Dassault Aviation.”

Jeez, France. What gives?

And it was President Chirac, your president, France, who,according to the Times, had a relationship with Saddam dating backto 1975. “The French wanted Iraqi oil, and by establishing thisfriendship, Chirac would help France replace the Soviet Union asIraq’s leading supplier of weapons and military goods.”

Now, both of those newspapers are from Washington, so they mayvery well be lying to us. But that’s not the point here.

French politicians and arms dealers are just as corrupt as U.S.politicians and arms dealers.

But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop watching Truffautfilms, or that I’ll quit listening to my Moon Safari CD, or thatI’ll never eat another croissant, or that I’ll start chanting,”Down! Down with France!”

I don’t fault you, France, any more than I fault the UnitedStates or its people. I blame the U.S. government, the Frenchgovernment and all governments that act in the interest of profitover life.