Shrouded in distaste

Many of us have something in common: that ugly sweater given to us by a relative. You know the one. Patterns that don’t match, interrupted by a garish Christmas tree in the middle and arbitrarily placed sequins all over the front.

Surprisingly, there are ways to make that sweater even uglier so that it may be the crowning glory of the next ugly-sweater party that you attend. For those of us who are lacking in ugly sweaters and who have already searched the closet and several thrift stores in vain, there is another solution to finding the perfect ugly sweater: making one.

Ugly-sweater parties are a fun pastime during the holiday season, but appropriate sweaters can be hard to come by if your favorite aunts or grandparents have been merciful enough not to provide you with one. However, if you have saved sweaters that are ripped, or even pieces of clothing such as sleeves or pockets, you are in luck. Sewing different kinds and colors of cloth together can lead to the creation of the perfect ugly sweater.

Don’t have a sewing machine? Don’t worry, you don’t need one. As long as you have a needle and thread, you can sew by hand. Remember, the sweater does not need to look perfect. It is an outfit for an ugly-sweater party, sewn together with cloth that does not go together, after all. It does not matter how nice the stitches are.

You may even want to use thread of a color that does not match the cloth. If the fabric is black, use some pink or yellow thread to sew the sleeve onto the sweater. Or if you have Christmas-y red cloth, sew it together with green thread for a more festive look.

Once you have sewn the front, the back and the sleeves together, you may want to add some strange designs that do not go together. Or, if your sweater already has a ridiculous Santa Clause or Christmas tree, you can add to the mayhem.

If you have cloth left over, you can cut it into the shapes of cats or Christmas trees. Do you have a Christmas tree shape? Add some sequins for ornaments. If you have a cat shape, glue a small ribbon to it, acting as a ribbon around the cat’s neck. Three-dimensional elements add to the sweater’s unappealing nature, giving you an outlet for your creativity at the same time.

The Button and Ribbon Emporium, located on Southwest Taylor street between 10th and 11th Avenues, is an ideal location to shop for some of these items. The abnormally large buttons that they sell in pastel blue, green and purple can be a fun addition to your sweater.

Imagine a crazy red sweater with large, bright, purple buttons down the front. If the sweater is black, white or grey, this would be a great way to add some color.

Color is an important part of an ugly sweater. Too few colors leave the sweater looking like rags. For the purpose of an ugly-sweater party, one can never have too many colors. If you can find colors that absolutely do not go together, that is even better.

My sweater is one of those that consists of different sweater pieces sewn together. So many pieces, in fact, that I ran out of thread very quickly, despite my trying to conserve it.

After exhausting my supply of real thread, I soon turned to dental floss. Floss may leave your fingers a bit sticky and smelling like mint, but it still makes for a perfectly good substitute for thread.

To cover up stains on my sweater, I sewed even more cloth over the stains.

I used bright orange cloth for a good portion of my sweater. Along with the abnormally large, bright blue buttons, the orange cloth makes my black sweater look much brighter.

Don’t forget to decorate the back of that sweater. Your fellow ugly-sweater wearers will see the back of your sweater as well, not just the front.

The trick is to add color whenever possible, no matter what color it is. The other party guests sporting their own ugly sweaters always appreciate a plethora of colors.

Get creative with colors and with the designs you sew onto the sweater, and your work of art will shine more brightly than any of the other ugly sweaters at the party.